caroucelle

Beautiful

I’m not fascinated by people who smile all the time. What I find interesting is the way people look when they are lost in thought, when their face becomes angry or serious, when they bite their lip, the way they glance, the way they look down when they walk, when they are alone and smoking a cigarette, when they smirk, the way they half smile, the way they try and hold back tears, the way when their face says they want to say something but can’t, the way they look at someone they want or love… I love the way people look when they do these things. It’s… beautiful.

-Unknown

(Source: martian-kid)

(last reblog)

The day I wrote that blog post still runs into my mind with vivid detail.

I was a Sophomore back then. Those were the days that when anger or sadness threatens to pour out of me, I would blog before feelings got out of hand. It just so happened that I had a bad day.

My best friend was replacing me, or so I thought. I was immature back then, and my fourteen-year-old self assumed her best friend replaced her for someone more popular. (at least in BHS anyway) Whether my best friend DID replace me or not, my mood was really ugly that day, and as soon as I got online, I let it all out in that post.

What I didn’t expect later on was to get 300+ notes on that post. It may not be a big deal to others, but to me it is. It made me feel relieved that I am not the only one who feels such pain in this world. It made me feel relieved that I am not the only one being replaced. It made me feel that I am not worthless after all, because everyone goes through the same crap as I do. It’s just how they manage to stay strong that they cope with such feelings.

Looking back, I am glad I made that blog post. Now, whenever I feel replaced or betrayed, I could just remind myself that people get to that point of their lives wherein the people they value replaces them for someone better.

And I could just remind myself to stay strong despite everything, because I am not alone.

That’s what I hate a lot. Being replaced by someone who is better than me. Prettier, smarter, more talented… yeah I know that’s a lot of pride over there, but then what would you feel? If your boyfriend or bestfriend replaced you, wouldn’t you get angry? It makes me angry…it makes me think I’m not worthy enough; I’m just second-class or I’m not special or I’m not the best. It makes me feel I’m replaceable. And yeah, that sucks.

(via theskullcandiii)

The questions regarding college plans aren’t just supposed to be “What program would you take in college? In what school should you study in?” The questions are supposed to be this: “What will be your job when you grow up? What do you see in yourself five, ten, fifteen years from now? What do you like doing? What will you do even if you’re not going to be paid?”

Once those questions are answered, answering the former ones will be easier, and the choice you’ll make won’t be a choice you would regret. You won’t be sitting in an office working your butt off with something you would rather not do. You wouldn’t be constantly bickering about how dull your life is turning out to be. You wouldn’t put your talents and skills to waste. You wouldn’t be one of those miserable people who do not have passion for what they do, and what you do will always be excellent. You’re going to live life with purpose, and you won’t look back and say “I wish I made a better choice.”

(Source: destrctive, via kflybye)

Anonymous asked: hey! i know you! si littlecelle ka dati right? =) laki ng pinagbago ng posts mo!

Yeah, hahahahaha. I transitioned from the depressed rebel to someone who’s more positive. Hahahaha hey!

(March 4)

Sorry if I haven’t written to you for quite a while. I am trying to “participate” in life, and so far, I am happy. Life is still a pain in the ass, but I learned (somehow) to divert my energy to the positive things instead. So far, not one depressing thought crossed my mind. So far.

Yet, how long will this calmness last?

Anyway, the reason why I wrote to you is because of my anonymous hater, the supposedly JO. She has been flooding my Ask Fm account with hate messages for a week now. And it is sort of affecting me bit by bit. I mean, who wouldn’t get bothered, right? This person told me I sucked in what I love to do, writing. That really sucks.

But I am okay. I really am. I’m still living life. I will no longer plunge back into depression. The best I could do is just show her that her words won’t bring me down.

Yeah.

I love myself, and if you could say the same thing, you wouldn’t be in front of your computer screen trying to hurt others.

I still can’t accept the fact that you’re allowed to switch sections this year.

Last year, after finding out that my section is SFLU and not SJNE (Most of my close friends are there), I swear life was at its most dreadful. I was crying, shaking, grabbing fistfuls of my hair. I was begging Dad to have me switch sections. Dad did make a way, but the authorities said that wasn’t allowed. Yet, I stood my ground. I continued, this time begging my teacher and guidance counselor. Still, I didn’t get what I want, and I had to stick with my section, against my will.

So you could almost guess my reaction when some seventh-grader posted that she switched sections. And you can pretty much say that my anger shot up when some sissy said that switching sections is allowed, and she has a plan to. This. Is. So. Unfair.

This made my day :”>